Why Traveling Together Means More to Me Now

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After losing four family members, traveling together gives my husband and me breathing room and time for each other.

There’s a simple pleasure in sitting down to a meal someone else cooked, knowing I won’t have to clean up afterward. These days, I appreciate that more than ever. After losing four family members, I’ve been carrying a lot, and the everyday responsibilities don’t stop while you’re trying to find your footing.

Getting away gives me a break from some of that stress. For a while, I can focus on where I am, what I’m excited to see, and the person beside me: my husband, Daniel. I’ve always loved the thrill of travel, but the time we spend together means more to me now.

Daniel and Melissa at Villa Adriana
Daniel and Melissa at Villa Adriana.

At home, there’s always a project

Daniel and I always seem to have something we’re working on at home. We enjoy our projects and the satisfaction of seeing them come together, but we can each get so absorbed in what we’re doing that an entire afternoon slips by. We’re both busy, often with our attention on separate things.

Traveling together means we get to spend our days with each other. We decide what we want to do, share meals, and discover places neither of us has seen before. I love being able to turn to him and talk about what we’re experiencing right then, while it’s happening. Those shared experiences are a big part of why I look forward to getting away.

Someone else can handle the cleanup

Of course, I also love having someone cook for me and clean for me. And yes, we all know I’m spoiled. Daniel cooks for me at home, too. But when we travel, I don’t have to clean up after him! He’s a messy cook, but I get a good meal out of the deal, so I’d say it’s a pretty great trade-off.

It’s a treat for both of us when someone else handles the cooking and the cleanup. We can enjoy a meal without either of us having a job to do afterward, sit and talk, and figure out what we want to see next. After a stressful stretch at home, I appreciate how simple that can feel.

Our afternoon tea at Fortnum & Mason in London is one of those experiences we’ve shared: a chance to sit down together and enjoy being somewhere new. The meal is part of the memory, along with the time we get to spend across the table from each other.

Daniel and Melissa having afternoon tea at Fortnum and Mason
Sharing afternoon tea at Fortnum & Mason in London.

Traveling together somewhere new

I still get excited about seeing something for the first time. Having a trip to look forward to gives me something to be curious about, and arriving somewhere unfamiliar draws my attention away from the worries waiting at home. I want to look around, explore, and see what the day brings.

Grief comes with me, of course. Losing people you love changes you, and a vacation doesn’t put that on hold. But I can miss them and still feel excited about a new place. I can enjoy a meal with Daniel, be curious about what’s around the next corner, and be grateful we have this time together.

That’s what I value most about traveling together now. At home, it’s easy for us to get lost in our individual projects. Away, everything we do is together, and we come home with memories we both had a part in making. After so much loss, I feel the value of that time deeply.

There will always be another project waiting when we get home. I’m glad we make time to go somewhere together.

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